Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Like A River

Today, my two daily streaks continue...the fifty-ninth day in a row for my "moving to the music" exercises...and the
thirty-third posting in thirty-three days on my blog, since I first started. This is a far cry from past days of sporadic activity in various areas of my life, interupted by long intervals, when inertia won the day. These days I can, a lot of the time, keep long daily streaks going. I had, in the past, a tendency towards being intense in everything I did. This lead to high productivity, in a short space of time...but...intensity stretched out over days and weeks, can lead to reaching "burnt out" status, after not too long, and when you're "burnt out", you're not likely to be very productive. One day, I was hurrying to my post office box, when I suddenly pulled up short and started laughing...I had caught myself, with my head and body loaded with tension, rushing on my way, intense about getting to the post office. The insight that had hit me, was that going to the post office, did not require intensity...all you had to do, was point yourself in its direction, and let your legs do rheir natural work. I saw that most of the things I'd been intense about in my life, also, did not require intensity. Gradually, I began to incorporate this new outlook into my life. I suppose, part of where my past intensity had come from, was the feeling I needed to be that way, or I would forget what I had to do, or succumb quickly to inertia, which was always near. What I started to do, was look calmly at what had to be done, and when that was clear, to start in, without having to raise my blood pressure...and learn how to take breaks from what I was doing, knowing I'd be back, day after day, until the job was finished. I also learnt in this process, that I was "a creature of momentum" i.e. when I had it, I could flow forward from day to day with it carrying me in its slip stream. I learnt to respect momentum, and when I had it, learnt how to calmly intervene, when I detected, even the beginning of a slide, out of it. So...my two daily streaks continue. I know that on any given day, circunstances beyond my control might intervene, and break them...but the thing for me...is not to become "streak driven"...but to relax inside this beautiful flow I'm in...for as long as it keeps taking me onwards...like a river........Quester.

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